A B-school is a perfect haven for the spiritually inclined. The spiritual experiences that you can find can be varied, depending on your level of spiritual advancement, and your degree of achievement of your "self-actualization potentials"
1. The 'I-am-a-God' Chakra - It may seem as if the adherents to this philosophy are more in tune with the 'Advaita Vedanta', in believing that the self and the divine cannot be separated. But, it has been observed from experience, that the philosophy is a little more mundane. The adherents seem to believe that the divine, in its infinite wisdom has incarnated itself in their bodies, who are the chosen ones to pursue an MBA degree to transform the Karmic imbalance in the management world.
1. The 'I-am-a-God' Chakra - It may seem as if the adherents to this philosophy are more in tune with the 'Advaita Vedanta', in believing that the self and the divine cannot be separated. But, it has been observed from experience, that the philosophy is a little more mundane. The adherents seem to believe that the divine, in its infinite wisdom has incarnated itself in their bodies, who are the chosen ones to pursue an MBA degree to transform the Karmic imbalance in the management world.
The author has learned from trustworthy insiders in this secret cult, that there is a general belief in this cult that the Divinity has entrusted the job of recruiting the next Avatar to the IIMs. Recently discovered scrolls have revealed that Lord Kalki would be an engineer from a premier engineering institute, who after two years of work experience in a Gurgaon/Bangalore-based software firm, would be disillusioned by all that is evil in the corporate world. For the general maintenance of Dharma, as promised in the Gita, the Lord would decide to pursue a PGP from the IIM. However, having obtained gyaan (Knowledge) from certain readings from Milton Friedman, that profit-making is the sole Dharma of a corporate, he would then decide to enter Wall Street on a white horse, as an investment banker, and earn a ten-figure salary. He would then fly back to India, at a ripe age of forty, decide to become an entrepreneur in the financial services segment, or would enter politics and emancipate the weaker sections in the society.
As with every Karmapa Lama, there are a number of pretenders to this Avatar, and hence resumes of many demi-gods crammed with bullet points, are floating around, in an attempt to help the powers-that-be decide on who is the 'God-of-them-all'. A number of authors (OTB and Misra, 2005) have tried to explain the rationale behind the quirky beliefs of this cult - and the candidate answers range from the 'rigor of selection process to B-school interviews', 'need for differentiation', 'hyper-active work environment', 'paranoia' etc. It is, however an unsolved mystery that the members of this cult, are generally intolerant of the belief in the same philosophy, when expressed by others. It is hence, unsurprising that the adherents to this philosophy are usually referred to by a certain 7 letter word that begins with 'a' and ends with 'e' - whch we are led to believe by experience, is highly offensive to them.
Empirical data points to the fact that the belief in this creed reaches the first peak, just before a prospective MBA gains admit into a B-school. Hence, most entrants to a B-school are observed to belong to this philosophical school. However, the two years of B-school education, helps the entrant to question this philosophy with nihilist rigor, and achieve the next state of spiritual advancement.
2. The 'What you see is not what you get' Chakra - The first seeds of crisis of identity are sown in this stage of spiritual advancement. It usually begins when the 'I-am-a-God's are asked to fill a one-page document, that would explain the rationale behind their beliefs. It usually results in these people realising that there are innumerable chinks in their armour. The majority, then converts to the viewpoint that Godliness is highly relative, and the eternal hierarchy of Gods are unending, and sometimes would seem cyclical. During this crisis-driven departure from Advaita, some panicky adherents begin to propose corollaries that would seem to explain that the sex of the adherent, is an important determinant in deciding the 'God-of-them-all'. Sometimes, the ability to mimic the excretory process of a certain bovine species, is used as an indicator of preparedness for the same.
The adherents, in this stage of hectic spiritual activity, begin to acquire vocabulary and accent that trails them for the rest of their lives into balance sheets, news conference briefs, legal suits and interviews. This stage can set in anywhere between one to two weeks from the begining of the curriculum. (In some cases, the achievement of this stage can be accelerated by certain numbers on returned test papers and interaction with knowledgeable faculty members, who are experienced with dealing with 'I-am-a-God's. It is observed that the usage of excretory-process-mimicking as a strategy, is highly disastrous in dealing with these situations.)
3. The 'So-help-me-God' Chakra - At this stage, one can observe that the spiritual aspirant has realised that for her general well-being, it is necessary to dissociate herself from that fellow called God, and place Him at a higher altar, so that He can be approached for solace in certain matters like performance in tests and quizzes, maintenance of grades, gaining footage and in pushing through the one page document without much scrutiny into the verity.
This phase usually begins approximately around a month into the B-school, and lasts for approximately a month or two and then leads to the next stage of advancement.
4. The 'Worship-the-Devil' Chakra - At this stage, the aspirant reaches a state of disillusionment with the entity called God, who for all practical purposes, is deluded with contradicting offers of appeasement from fellow graduates. Since by design, a B-school is zero-sum game, He has decided to round up his response to zero, and hence does nothing to preferentially benefit the aspirant.
The aspirant, hence decides to shift to the darker side, and engage in practices with sinister connotations like RG (relative grading), free-riding etc. He is enamoured by his realization of immediate benefits, as a result of these practices. But, with market arbitrage, and with mass defections from the Lighter side to the Dark side (the dynamics of which - the author will publish in a subsequent paper titled 'The Economics of RG'), the darker side reaches a equilibriaic state, where the marginal utility from any subsequent dark activity does not yield substantial result. This, is the longest lasting phase in the life of a B-school aspirant, and in some cases, can last almost the aspirant's entire stay at the B-school. However, except in the rarest-of-the-rare cases, every aspirant is necessarily prodded to the next phase of spiritual attainment.
5. The 'Why-am-I-here' Chakra - Discounting extreme outliers, as a result of the general failure of the theory of Good and the Evil to explain the purpose of life at a B-school, every aspirant begins her true Nietzschiean spiritual journey at this stage. It has been proved by psephologists, specializing in B-schools that every B-school graduate utters the dreaded four word phrase at least once within the two years of his curriculum. It has been aptly described by a leading author (Rodulus Lordulus, 2005) as analogous to the 'Blue Pill' in the cult film 'The Matrix', which the hero pops into his mouth, to finally confront reality.
This stage is generally known to foster a sense of brotherhood and fraternity among adherents, and is generally observed to be the most peaceful of all spiritual stages - marked by bouts of mental depression, and physical wasting. This may be the highest state that most B-school aspirants achieve during their stay. However, with certain events like placements, certain adherents are known to fall back to earlier philosophies, by convincing themselves that what is not pleasant cannot be true.
6. The 'Maya' Chakra - If the adherent manages to last the previous spiritual stage, while maintaining his grades at a level that would help him complete his education, it may sometimes become possible for him to reach an irreversible stage where he realises that 'Maya is the root cause of all sorrows'. He is no longer overly concerned about grades (he now knows that there are "no right answers, but there are always right marks"), he is not concerned about i-Bank placements (he anyway doesn't stand a chance) and he awaits the placement process with a detached attachment - where he knows that the fruit of his actions does not belong to him.
Though, the above treatise covers the dominant schools of philosophy in a B-school, the author is indeed puzzled by observations by external agencies, that once the placement process is completed, the whole cycle starts over again - with people begining with the 'I-am-a-God' attitude towards life. Further studies are recommended to factor in these observations.
As with every Karmapa Lama, there are a number of pretenders to this Avatar, and hence resumes of many demi-gods crammed with bullet points, are floating around, in an attempt to help the powers-that-be decide on who is the 'God-of-them-all'. A number of authors (OTB and Misra, 2005) have tried to explain the rationale behind the quirky beliefs of this cult - and the candidate answers range from the 'rigor of selection process to B-school interviews', 'need for differentiation', 'hyper-active work environment', 'paranoia' etc. It is, however an unsolved mystery that the members of this cult, are generally intolerant of the belief in the same philosophy, when expressed by others. It is hence, unsurprising that the adherents to this philosophy are usually referred to by a certain 7 letter word that begins with 'a' and ends with 'e' - whch we are led to believe by experience, is highly offensive to them.
Empirical data points to the fact that the belief in this creed reaches the first peak, just before a prospective MBA gains admit into a B-school. Hence, most entrants to a B-school are observed to belong to this philosophical school. However, the two years of B-school education, helps the entrant to question this philosophy with nihilist rigor, and achieve the next state of spiritual advancement.
2. The 'What you see is not what you get' Chakra - The first seeds of crisis of identity are sown in this stage of spiritual advancement. It usually begins when the 'I-am-a-God's are asked to fill a one-page document, that would explain the rationale behind their beliefs. It usually results in these people realising that there are innumerable chinks in their armour. The majority, then converts to the viewpoint that Godliness is highly relative, and the eternal hierarchy of Gods are unending, and sometimes would seem cyclical. During this crisis-driven departure from Advaita, some panicky adherents begin to propose corollaries that would seem to explain that the sex of the adherent, is an important determinant in deciding the 'God-of-them-all'. Sometimes, the ability to mimic the excretory process of a certain bovine species, is used as an indicator of preparedness for the same.
The adherents, in this stage of hectic spiritual activity, begin to acquire vocabulary and accent that trails them for the rest of their lives into balance sheets, news conference briefs, legal suits and interviews. This stage can set in anywhere between one to two weeks from the begining of the curriculum. (In some cases, the achievement of this stage can be accelerated by certain numbers on returned test papers and interaction with knowledgeable faculty members, who are experienced with dealing with 'I-am-a-God's. It is observed that the usage of excretory-process-mimicking as a strategy, is highly disastrous in dealing with these situations.)
3. The 'So-help-me-God' Chakra - At this stage, one can observe that the spiritual aspirant has realised that for her general well-being, it is necessary to dissociate herself from that fellow called God, and place Him at a higher altar, so that He can be approached for solace in certain matters like performance in tests and quizzes, maintenance of grades, gaining footage and in pushing through the one page document without much scrutiny into the verity.
This phase usually begins approximately around a month into the B-school, and lasts for approximately a month or two and then leads to the next stage of advancement.
4. The 'Worship-the-Devil' Chakra - At this stage, the aspirant reaches a state of disillusionment with the entity called God, who for all practical purposes, is deluded with contradicting offers of appeasement from fellow graduates. Since by design, a B-school is zero-sum game, He has decided to round up his response to zero, and hence does nothing to preferentially benefit the aspirant.
The aspirant, hence decides to shift to the darker side, and engage in practices with sinister connotations like RG (relative grading), free-riding etc. He is enamoured by his realization of immediate benefits, as a result of these practices. But, with market arbitrage, and with mass defections from the Lighter side to the Dark side (the dynamics of which - the author will publish in a subsequent paper titled 'The Economics of RG'), the darker side reaches a equilibriaic state, where the marginal utility from any subsequent dark activity does not yield substantial result. This, is the longest lasting phase in the life of a B-school aspirant, and in some cases, can last almost the aspirant's entire stay at the B-school. However, except in the rarest-of-the-rare cases, every aspirant is necessarily prodded to the next phase of spiritual attainment.
5. The 'Why-am-I-here' Chakra - Discounting extreme outliers, as a result of the general failure of the theory of Good and the Evil to explain the purpose of life at a B-school, every aspirant begins her true Nietzschiean spiritual journey at this stage. It has been proved by psephologists, specializing in B-schools that every B-school graduate utters the dreaded four word phrase at least once within the two years of his curriculum. It has been aptly described by a leading author (Rodulus Lordulus, 2005) as analogous to the 'Blue Pill' in the cult film 'The Matrix', which the hero pops into his mouth, to finally confront reality.
This stage is generally known to foster a sense of brotherhood and fraternity among adherents, and is generally observed to be the most peaceful of all spiritual stages - marked by bouts of mental depression, and physical wasting. This may be the highest state that most B-school aspirants achieve during their stay. However, with certain events like placements, certain adherents are known to fall back to earlier philosophies, by convincing themselves that what is not pleasant cannot be true.
6. The 'Maya' Chakra - If the adherent manages to last the previous spiritual stage, while maintaining his grades at a level that would help him complete his education, it may sometimes become possible for him to reach an irreversible stage where he realises that 'Maya is the root cause of all sorrows'. He is no longer overly concerned about grades (he now knows that there are "no right answers, but there are always right marks"), he is not concerned about i-Bank placements (he anyway doesn't stand a chance) and he awaits the placement process with a detached attachment - where he knows that the fruit of his actions does not belong to him.
Though, the above treatise covers the dominant schools of philosophy in a B-school, the author is indeed puzzled by observations by external agencies, that once the placement process is completed, the whole cycle starts over again - with people begining with the 'I-am-a-God' attitude towards life. Further studies are recommended to factor in these observations.
6 comments:
Speaking of Avatars and chakras, have anyone read about the 1,000 year string of avatars in Blazing Splendor? Absolutely amazing! http://blazing-splendor.blogspot.com/2005/08/padmasambhava-lotus-born-master-and.html
I am sure there's one more 'Chakra' to make the count to 7 to be consistent with Human Body, though we might not be dealing with one..
Could that be the 'Callous Chakra'?
Waiting for the next post..
- Vikram
Stange,
As the old ones say, there are wheels within wheels - chakras-in-chakras. It all begins with 0.
There is a I-am-the-god chakra inherent in (1) - that is when the soul gets bumped up into an excited orbit and consequently the precise position and velocity become slightly uncertain [Heisenberg Modifyberg, early 20th century]. At this stage, one has conceptions of a very flat world and aspirations to pursue public policy. The stabilizing factors are rightly mentioned in (2) in which the soul gets bumped down to I-am-a-god (1) or lower (2).
Please do elaborate on the intricate need-based mapping in these chakras [Maslow chains].
More chakras as they wheel in.
OTB.
:O Pretty thought provoking comments.
No comments from moi other than rotfl...
He he! I shall try to refrain from getting into the 'Chakra-vyuha'!
Good to see you back!
All the best :)
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